Why can’t I speak Italian? What ten years of teaching taught me
In ten years as an Italian teacher, I’ve heard countless people ask themselves, with a mix of hope and frustration: why can’t I speak Italian the way I want to?
It’s the most natural question for anyone learning a foreign language. After all, people who start learning Italian (or French, Russian, Cambodian) do so because they want to speak it. And yet that goal can feel distant, exhausting, and sometimes even impossible to reach.
I know this feeling well, because before becoming a teacher I was a language learner myself. English at school, Russian and Polish at university, then a bit of French as a self-taught adult. And in every one of those experiences, at some point I found myself asking the same question: why can’t I speak?
There are two things worth examining to try to answer it.
Why can’t I speak Italian? — Theory without practice
One widely used approach in language teaching involves separating passive competence from active competence. In plain terms: some teachers focus heavily on theory, grammar and exercises to help students build a solid foundation, and only after that foundation is in place do students start speaking.
This happened to me when I studied Russian at university. For the first two years, I worked through endless grammar exercises with great attention to detail, watched films and read books. Then, in the summer between my second and third year, I went to Moscow for a summer course and realised I couldn’t order a coffee, but I could follow a history lecture on tsar Nicholas II. Did that make sense? In my opinion, no.
As an Italian teacher, I use a hybrid approach. I don’t agree with those who say theory is useless — theory absolutely matters, because it gives learners awareness and freedom when they speak. But without practice, theory is just material for a quiz show.
That’s why I design my materials and lessons so that the people who study Italian with me can use what they know from day one. The goal is to develop passive and active skills together, in parallel.
Trying to speak without knowing any structures is too random. But waiting for grammatical perfection, which doesn’t exist, before opening your mouth makes no sense either.
And then there’s the second point: speak about what, exactly? Because an unclear goal is the first step toward frustration.
Why can’t I speak Italian? — What do you actually want to talk about?
At my online Italian school, I have students at many different levels, with many different needs and interests.
With Ania, we often talk about her family, and lately about her pregnancy, and how her eldest daughter will adjust to her new baby brother.
With Sandra, we talk about books and journalism, because that’s her work and her passion.
With Bogdan, we talk about houses, renovation projects and garden work.
With Lina and Mantas, we talk about what they did at the weekend and what they enjoy doing.
With Piotr, we talk about daily routines and habits.
What am I getting at? Speaking Italian is not the same thing for everyone. It depends on your level and your needs.
Someone who visits Italy a couple of times a year on holiday needs to be able to order food, talk to hotel staff and make small purchases. If they can do that, they speak Italian. They don’t need to discuss Spinoza.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t be ambitious, quite the opposite. One of the great joys of learning a foreign language as an adult is the idea of always going a little further, with pleasure. But realistic goals help us focus our energy, learn with enjoyment and avoid frustration.
If your goal right now is to speak with your Italian boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s mother, focus on that. You probably won’t be discussing chemistry or international politics — at least not at first.
If, like Bogdan, you’ve bought a house in Italy, you don’t need to know the names of all the farm animals — but being able to talk to the architect is genuinely useful.
So before asking yourself “why can’t I speak Italian?”, ask yourself: “in which situations do I actually want to speak Italian?”
If you’d like some help with that, I’m here.
Book a free introductory call: 30 minutes to talk about your goals, your level and your needs. I’ll tell you about my approach and my materials, and if it feels right, we can start studying Italian together. No strings attached — and if it’s not the right fit, no hard feelings. 😊